What Stops Divorce and What Does Not – 3 Tips for Husbands
I am not a lawyer, judge or any one else in a legal profession…
And I doubt that on the internet you are going to find GOOD legal advice that is going to halt your divorce proceedings
I don't even know where to send you for that…
But if you are here because you want to get your marriage back together with your wife then you are in the right place
How NOT to Stop Your Divorce
There is a lot of information around about stopping a divorce. Here is a few of the most popular ones and why they are NOT great advice
This is one I see around quite a lot…
It's popular advice because it is easy to understand, and it's easily palatable for people. No one is getting the blame, the problem is just a miscommunication!
So why isn't it going to save your marriage?
Because it doesn't address the core feelings and _ of the marriage.
In fact if a married couple are experiencing marriage troubles, teaching them how to communicate better can turn a bar fight into guns drawn at high noon!
Giving both parties the ‘arms' so they can do some real damage
Telling Your Wife Your Going to Change
Imagining this one makes me cringe
Some poor husband pleading with his wife for a second chance, because he has seen the light and will change. It's begging, and it doesn't work
Here's the deal. Even if you could change yourself like Clark Kent changes into Superman, firstly your wife doesn't want to HEAR about it
She wants action
The second thing that baffles me with this advice is that your wife married YOU. She didn't marry the man you think you need to change into
So how do you know that she will love him? At least you know that she loved you at some point (worts and all), so that is proven
Stick with you and don't tell your wife your going to change or try to change yourself. It doesn't work
Wait and See
This one is pretty dangerous
Your wife has told you she want's a divorce and the advice you get is ‘don't do anything'
Although better communication and telling your wife you will change are bad advice, you should be doing something
What Stops Divorce – What You Can Do Today to Help Your Marriage
You Can Stop Your Divorce, and Revive Your Marriage Even if Your the Only One Trying
You can save your marriage. But husbands who have had their wives hit them with the ‘D' bomb can really rattle them
It's completely understandable. It can send your emotions into overdrive and feel like someone's got a gun to your head
You can't see past it, and it becomes the focus of your thoughts… At work, at home, eating lunch etc.
Even though all these emotions are running through you, you need to stay calm, cool and collected
Remember your emotions are trying to tell you something. They are trying to protect you from hurt, but in this scenario, they are actually hurting you more
Open/Keep Open the Communication Channels
Depending on your situation your wife may not be talking to you. If that is the case, you need to work towards that in the first place
Here is the most important thing to have in mind when trying to do this…
So what do I mean by ‘Give Value'?
Your wife wants whatever you say to her to add her value in her life. Make her happy, inform her, educate her etc.
The one that i suggest to start with is simply to ‘make her happy' (educating and informing are actually very hard to do at this stage)
Simply you could find something in social media that you think she would like and share it
If your both still living together, think about a quick conversation you can have with her that is fun
Maybe during your day you remembered a great memory that the both of you share etc.
Make it fun and light
(If your after a step by step guide to this then here is what i recommend. There is even pre-written templates you can follow)
Don't Revive Your Old Marriage, Start a New One
This is a MUCH better place to come from. If you pretend that your starting from nothing and have to win your wife back again
This way you take nothing for granted
And hey, you know you did it right once, you can do it again
You can save your marriage. Believe it
If you want a plan that you can follow to save your marriage then here is the best I know
I know you may be thinking that your marriage is too far gone…
However there is a plan even if your wife isn't talking to you and you live in separate areas
In fact a marriage crisis can be the catalyst to build a better, stronger marriage!
And even if you don't believe your marriage is salvageable (which it is) at the very least it will give you a better relationship with your kids
Thanks for reading this guide on what stops divorce and what does not
Best of luck in your situation