How to Make Up With Your Wife – The 5 Games Married Couples Play that Break Marriages & How to Fix Them
Firstly I am going to ask you something that you don’t want to answer…
Why did you do it in the first place..?
Why did you get yourself into the bad books with your wife?
Not How, but WHY
If you're like most men, most of the time…
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHY YOU LIKE TO ANNOY YOUR WIFE
The podcast talks about the ‘games couples play’ (taken from the book ‘games people play’) and i am going to suggest that you are playing AT LEAST 1 of those games
And that is why you're playing little games and why you are taking some form of pleasure from getting at your wife
And in a funny way, just knowing what you are doing and drawing attention to it will help stop you doing it in the future
Here’s a rundown of the games
NOTE – both you and your wife can be playing these games so i have left them open, and you can identify how that game is affecting your marriage
Game #1 – Prove you love me
Are you trying to get your wife to show how much she loves you all the time?
Are you getting your wife to give something up for you, to prove how much she loves you?
Maybe it’s time, or gifts or just doing what you ask
Unfortunately in this game, enough proof is never attainable
You are always looking for ways to say ‘aha i knew she didn’t love me’ – and if she does do what you want you then up the stakes… it’s a never ending cycle
Game #2 – You owe me
Are you or your wife trying to one up each other for moral superiority?
Do you or your wife feel like you’re doing too much in marriage and want more from other partner, but not in a healthy way?
This game turns both of you into individuals pulling at each other and not a couple pulling for each other. Which is detrimental for a marriage.
Game #3 – I’m in charge
Are you or your wife using your position (the breadwinner, the homemaker etc.) as leverage and assuming control over the other?
This game turns your marriage from a WE to a you vs. me, with both parties working in different directions
Game #4 – Take care of me
Is the only way that you (or your wife) feels loved is when your wife is taking care of you?
This game creates a dangerous cycle. One person gets tired of their role over time and when that happens it seriously fractures the marriage
Game #5 – You need me, I need you
Are you or your wife trying to bring togetherness by taking away instead of giving?
The issue here is the NEED. Constant neediness puts a lot of pressure on the couple and causes one party to want out to alleviate the pressure
The problem with these games
- They are played by people who are afraid of what might happen instead of hopeful of what is happening
- They put two individuals against each other, instead of working for each other
- Pressure. These games put pressure on your marriage
- Is caused by lack of trust and trust issues
- In some of these games, you're using your marriage as a leverage point to get what you want… which will destroy your marriage eventually
Marriage works best when we (you and your wife) work together. These games change that WE into two individuals, and then eventually turn them on each other.
What to do about it
So now we’ve identified how you made it bad, how do you make up?
Firstly i recommend listen to the podcast. Get yourself educated and know what you're doing in your marriage
But the first thing TO DO in your marriage is to change
But it’s not to do something else
It’s to not do something
Don’t play the games
Pull back a little when your around your wife and really watch what you say and do around her.
These games are like viruses, they sneak in and you don’t even realise that you're playing them
By watching what you do you can identify which one of these 5 games you are playing and stop playing it. It’s that easy
When i listened to the podcast I was nodding all the way to work (i was in the car at the time). I couldn’t believe how easily this could be summed up
As soon as i got home i noticed how i wanted to do things which were detrimental to my marriage
And then i started wondering, why do i even want to do these things…
Why do i get some form of enjoyment from annoying my wife? It’s in these games.
And by not playing these games I have helped my marriage. I think it’s close to 95% of the battle
And if you did this, and took a step back from your interactions with your wife, after a week I would be surprised if you didn’t make up with your wife and your marriage wasn’t STRONGER
The ‘make up with your wife’ turbo boosters
If you really think you’ve put it wrong then i would encourage you to check this out
It’s the best, most comprehensive marriage repair system put together by Dr Lee Baucom
In it, there’s advice to help marriages in any stages
From a little rocky to Moby Dick sized problems
It’s the best marriage repair program i have found, and I've seen quite a few.
You can read my review of it here if you want
You can also get my 10 rules for being a man that women love by going to the homepage and signing up for the eBook there
Best of luck in your marriage