How to Treat Your Wife Like a Queen
What She Really Wants from You in 7 Easy to Follow Rules
If momma aint happy, aint nobody happy
As husbands, it’s very important that our wives are happy.
We want them to feel like royalty, and for them to think that their time with us is everything they dreamed about when they were thinking of getting married.
But there is no rule book for husbands on how to give their wife the life that they deserve
And unfortunately, it’s not as easy as asking our wives… They don’t seem to know what they want – they just know when they aren't getting it
So here it is… 7 rules to follow for your relationship that will have her brimming from ear to ear with a royal grin
NOTE: These rules are going to be different to what you may be used to hearing. For more, visit some other pages on the site using the sidebar.
1st Rule – Husband and Wife Relationship is NOT a Friendship
We’ve all been bought up to think of our wives as their best friends because sometimes we rely on our wives emotionally, and we spend a lot of time together.
I hear, read and see this all the time. Husbands saying stuff along the lines of…
“I’m lucky, my wife is also my best friend…”
The relationship between you and your wife is NOT a friendship. Let me put it this way.
When was the last time you had sex with one of your friends?
Because you don’t have sex with your friends
Ever gone a few weeks without speaking to your friend?
Ever gone a few weeks without speaking to your wife?
It’s not that you don’t have a close relationship, it’s just that you aren’t best friends.
There is more important facets of the relationship that you need to focus on, rather than friendship.
I.e. children, living together and other family stuff.
It's not necessarily a bad thing, on the good side she’s pretty much the only member of the family that you get to pick.
2nd Rule – She wants to think that you are ‘her highest priority’
I’m not sure who said this first but it is very good advice
Don’t spend more time with your mistress, than with your wife
It’s an older saying so the term mistress can get interchanged with a lot of things. I.e. your computer, your buddies, your classic car that your restoring, any hobby that you are actively involved in etc.
Your wife wants to think that she is your highest priority. It makes her happy. In her eyes she wants a man because she knows that she can’t do everything herself.
So she does what she can, and when she needs something done for her she wants you to be there to do it.
3rd Rule – Your attention over time
I took a dance class once where the instructor told me some very important information.
It's too long for me to quote verbatim, but basically when you’re a man, and your dancing this particular dance with a woman, after you do a move you always step half a step closer to her than you were beforehand.
This is gold and I wish I could bottle it.
What it means is that you are filling the space that she once had, but you’re doing it in a way that is also leading her. So she is feeling wanted + cared for. This is a winning combination.
So every day you want to let her know that your around, paying attention and taking care of her.
Practically I mean stuff like sending a text message telling her your thinking of her, cleaning out the dishwasher when she’s busy, etc. it doesn’t have to cost anything, your just letting her know that you are there.
With this though, A little each day will make her happy. But you need to be giving her attention each day. All your attention one day a month isn’t going to be as good as a little each day.
4th Rule – Let her play the role of wife, not roles she doesn’t want to play
Cleaner is the obvious role that women pick up when they get married. But being a wife doesn’t necessarily mean that she is also a cleaner. Being a wife/mother does mean that you watch out for your children and make sure that where they live/play/etc. is appropriate and safe.
One of the safety issues is cleaning.
Kids eating off the floor is a health hazard which wives generally pick up and prioritise higher than husbands.
Over time it’s just been that the wife also cleans.
But we are entering a new age. An age of specialization where people do what they are good at 24/7, and an age where the middle class can afford some help around the house.
Right now, although your wife does clean, I can tell you that she doesn't enjoy cleaning
So if you want to know how to treat your wife like a queen, let her be wife. Not the cleaner and the other jobs that she picks up along the way.
It’s important here to introduce any of the below items as ‘time for her’ to reap the rewards
Haven’t got a dishwasher, time to invest in one
Does she clean the house? Ask around (and have your wife ask around too) and get a cleaner. We pay $50 every fortnight for a cleaner to come for 2 hours. My wife always loves it when the cleaner has been.
If you can’t afford a cleaner, then make sure what you have in the house to clean (vacuum cleaner, floor steamer, clothes, chemicals etc.) are good quality, so they do the job well in the minimum time.
If your wife seems to be complaining that her floors never get clean and you do have small children then get a floor steamer. They do a great job, and although they are slower than mopping, they do a better job of eliminating nasties from tile and floorboard floors.
And you can obviously chip in here, but when I tend to do it I do a bad job according to my wife so the best thing is to get a cleaner or automate with a dishwasher.
Other types of jobs that yoru wife doesn’t want to do is
- Organizer/project manager of family
- Cook (not all the time)
- Food shopper
Be prepared to go through a few cleaners to find a good one. And the best ones tend to work for themselves. That way it’s their reputation on the line instead of a company they don’t really care too much about. (just my experience)
5th Rule – Sex She Will Remember
This rule is the one that gives her the throne to sit on. Want some tips that will give her a climax she will never forget?
6th Rule – Be Someone She Can Depend On
Yeah this is cliché and said quite a few times. But think of it like this.
Your relationship is like a plant.
She is the flowers on the plant, you’re like the branches, trunk and root stem. She is the pretty one that gets all the sun and the attention. You’re the one that she needs to put her there.
You both play important roles but they are different.
She needs someone she can depend on. Someone that will be there for her and someone that will support her when she’s going through tough times.
That is you.
So how do you do this?
Be dependable – say your going to do something, do it.
Plan out stuff – Get a calendar and write in advance when your going out of town for work, going out with the boys, time for your hobbies etc.
Some people say that planning things in a relationship is bad romance, however in the typical relationship/family setting if things don’t get planned they don’t get done so it’s better off being planned and done than not being planned and not done.
7th Rule – Treat Her How SHE Wants to Be Treated
Have you ever told your wife she looks beautiful and copped a ‘no im not', type response?
I think every husband has at some point.
It’s not what she wants to hear.
Treat her how SHE wants to be treated is quite cliché however it is how to treat your wife like a queen
Above was just one example and there are many, another example.
Ever had your wife come home from work, she is a little or a lot emotional and she is telling you what happened at work etc.?
And you, trying to do your best, give her some advice.
I’m saying this in the nicest possible way but she doesn’t want to hear your advice. (although im sure your advice is excellent)
Advice is something that you would want.
But she just wants to have someone to listen to her rant about her day and get it off her chest. All you need to do in this situation is just listen, offer a few statements or maybe a question or two to prompt her.
Just think of her as a jug that’s filled up. She’s just pouring herself out.
Let her do it the way she wants, by talking and getting it out, rather than giving her advice which is trying to fill it back up again. (Giving advice here creates conflict. Although it is hard to explain, by giving advice you are getting involved in the situation. Now there's the people in the situation, and there’s also you telling her what you think she should do)
It’s harder than it sounds and we all falter sometimes (especially yours truly) but it’s best to stay out of it and just listen
Are You in the Dog House?
If things are a little more serious in your marriage and you think you are in the dog house then you can get help
So there should be at least some homework for y’all. Everyone needs to keep working on this stuff, myself included.
Just as a reminder here is the list is point form
- Husband and Wife relationship is NOT a friendship
- She wants to think that you are ‘her highest priority’
- Your attention over time
- Let her play the role of wife, not roles she doesn’t want to play
- Sex she will remember
- Be someone she can depend on
- Treat her how SHE wants to be treated
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