How to Get Your Wife Back After Separation
Can You Really Get Her Back After Separation, and Grow Old Together Like You Always Imagined?
Firstly it’s complicated. But you should know that you can get your wife back. She fell in love with you once, and it can happen again.
You should also know that not everybody who tries, does.
Sometimes the hurt party has just taken too much and cannot trust in the relationship anymore.
So before you start, have a think about it. Put yourself in someone outside the marriages shoes and think ‘should those two people get back together?’
This will put some emotional distance between you and the marriage, and allow for some clear thought.
Where Did it Go Wrong?
Living in a marriage day to day, it can be easy to get side tracked
- Taking care of the kids
- Bringing in money
- Household chores
And everything else that goes with being married.
And although nobody gets married with the intention of having a divorce, divorce happens to about 1 out of 2 marriages.
So if half the couples who end up getting married end up divorced, and half don’t… then what is the difference between these couples?
We’ll in short,
Couples that stay together, still like each other
And when I say like, I also mean are attracted, enjoy their life, and feel satisfaction from their marriage (they both feel happy)
It is an oversimplification but the reason why we marry someone is because we like them. As soon as one party stops liking the other one, and being around them becomes more of a pain than a joy, the marriage starts to break down.
And getting to this stage of marriage breakdown doesn’t happen overnight. It takes some time.
What She is Feeling Right Now
So you can see what it’s like for her, here is a simple mix of the feelings that she is probably feeling towards you right now.
She feels like she is doing everything in the marriage. Imagine that everything you do for each other results in a score of 1 point. She sees your marriage as a whitewash, where she is 100’s of points up.
Low Self Esteem
She feels down on herself. And not just about the marriage. It may be because she doesn’t believe that she looks as good as she once did. You can tell your wife until you are blue in the face that she looks beautiful. It doesn’t mean much to her.
What does mean a lot is taking her out and showing her how special she is. Took me a little while to learn this but this is how you combat her self esteem.
She feels abandoned at some point. This ties in with the previous two sections. She feels like her love is going un-responded to. Which leaves her cold.
When a wife thinks her husband isn’t helping she feels like she is doing everything twice and not getting anything in return. Which leaves her cold toward the marriage and feeling unloved/taken for granted.
This one is usually the main cause, or not a cause at all. And to be harsh and cut to the truth it is her not being able to trust you to be there for her. It has to do with your self-esteem.
She wants a man who will protect her and be there for her like a rock. And she doesn’t trust that you will be able to support her when she needs it.
It can be a little shocking to hear where we are missing the mark in our marriage. But as I said at the top you can get your wife back. And now we’ve identified the issues we can determine a course of action forward.
No one gets married to get divorced and all people who get married only want to be married once. So she is feeling somewhat conflicted becuase ‘being divorced' is not someone who she thinks she is.
So What Do You Do Know?
She needs to believe that you are somehow different, that you have changed and what has happened in your previously isn’t going to happen again. The hardest part of this is that she is going to be hard to fool. She’s trusted you before and it has failed, so overcoming that will be tough.
Here’s a few ideas:
Go away for a bit
A bit of fresh air and a change of scenery to give you some perspective
Change your appearance
Get a new haircut and some new clothes. Although it is relatively easy, if you appear visually appear different to your wife, and she will know that something has changed.
Change your outlook on life and marriage
This one is a bit harder to do but involves making new choices, making decisions differently than you used to. Go through your life and ask yourself why you do things the way you do.
Change your situation
If you have a job that is eating away all of your time, then leave. If you have a hobby that is also taking up al your time, then leave that. She will notice when you have made space for her in your life.
The Hardest Part
The biggest part of getting your wife back after any kind of separation is your communication. And its where most marriages go wrong in the first place.
It’s such a huge part because it effects everything else in your relationship.
What Not to Do
Before we go into what to do, it’s very important to diagnose what went wrong in the first place and how your communication is coming between you two. In fact if your avoiding these things in your communication your more than half way there.
This isn’t a full list – for more sign up for the e-newsletter that contains the 7 sins of what not to say when re-establishing communication with your wife —->
Lay off on the Apologies
– They aren’t going to bring her back, and her issue with them is trust. She doesn’t trust you so she isn’t going to buy the apology. The apology is just you recognizing that you did the wrong thing. She wants to know that you will fix it/won’t do it again which is something that you have to prove.
Stop Accusing/Blaming Her
You probably don’t realize you are doing this. It’s not as easy to see as you may think in your communication and she is seeing it now how you intend for her to see it. Don’t say anything along the lines of ‘how ‘
Don’t Hold Her to Ransom
‘I’ll never (insert claim here) without you.’ This is detrimental to communication. Your laying the guilt on here hard, and nobody likes to talk with someone who is making them feel guilty.
*Note – If you’d like to learn more of what not to do, then subscribe to my e-newsletter which covers the 7 sins of communicating with your partner.
So How Should You be Talking to Your Wife?
Before we go into what to say, you need to realize that no matter how great it was, your previous relationship has ended. Trying to revive that previous relationship is hurting any chance at a new relationship with your wife.
So focus on creating something new!
Focus on starting something from scratch, from the beginning. In her mind, the previous relationship is over. So if you want to get back with her, you need to create new one. The good thing about this approach is that starting again demonstrates to her that you are trustworthy and you really want her. Otherwise you wouldn’t go to all the trouble.
So the key to How to Get Your Wife Back After Separation is to…
Start slowly. One step at a time
Build the communication back up so you can talk to each other freely. If it is stilted now or only comes when it is necessary you need to rebuild that connection
Give it time and attention over time
Men like to do things like a builder. They spend all their time doing one thing, then once it is done move onto something else. Women aren’t like that. They work more like a maintenance person.
They tend to do some little bit every day. This way they know that they are needed (which is what they love). But if she is asked to do everything every day it gets too much for her. She sees the challenge as too big and that she is alone in trying to solve it… so she aborts it.
Remember, you aren’t the bad guy
One issue is that you can start putting her on a pedestal and thinking that you believe everything she has done is correct and you have done is crap
This is a big pitfall because it exposes yourself as a victim. Someone with low self esteem who doesn’t deserve her and she will feel no attraction for.
Where to from here?
If you want a step by step program that will help give you word for word what to say to your wife, and teach you how to approach her, then you cant go past the how to get ex back program.
Written by a relationship expert with 20+ years experience, it will give you everything you need to know to make contact, and if its to be, win her back even after a separation. It sells for $97, but you can pick it up for $47 with our coupon link here
NOTE: Yes I have the product. I have written my review of my experience, along with who I think should and shouldn't use the program. See it here
If the program can get peoples ex's back, if followed and it's meant to be, it is the best way how to you get your wife back after separation
You can also sign up for my newsletter which has regular emails for men that want to get back with their wives.
If you are married to a good woman, then you think that she didn’t get married with the intention of divorce. No one does. But there were times in the marriage that drove her to that.
As men we can get sidetracked sometimes. i..e we are in charge of bringing in the money to the relationship, but we let it consume us and it’s all we focus on is money, leaving the relationship with no focus.
Getting separated can be a cold hard slap to the face. Reminding us of what is truly important in our lives. So don't miss this opportunity to get her back into your arms, and living the life you two were both meant to live
Thanks for reading our guide on how to get your wife back after separation. Any comments, questions or queries then use the contact form 🙂
Thanks for reading our guide on how to get your wife back after separation. If you have any comments, queries or questions then use the contact page