How to Fight For Your Marriage – What You Need to Know to Get Your Wife Back
Firstly welcome, but this post is going to get pretty rough.
If it's your first time to AnHonestApproach.com then I'd like to say welcome, but we have earned the name for a reason.
But before we get to that I'd like to reassure you
Your not alone in this situation. There are many guys who send me emails in similar situations. Issues with depression, anxiety, and frustration. Not knowing what is in store for them, their marriage and their families.
The bad news
When your fighting for your marriage, your not fighting for some higher moral stance. Your fighting for the CHANCE for your marriage to get back together.
Your wife might not start acting in a nicer way or want to get back together. That's the chance you take when you fight for your marriage
The is absolutely no guarantee that you will get back with your wife and it may be a complete waste of time!
But if after you know this, then you can learn how to fight for your marriage the right way
With that out of the way, let's dive right in
How to Fight for Your Marriage
#1 – Make your marriage the #1 priority
I know that you probably think that it is right now and that you'd do anything to save it and get it back to how it was
But when your wife says something like ‘don't go out with your friends all the time'
or why don't you come home from work earlier to spend time with me and the kids
and you can't bring yourself to do that, then you are showing where your priorities really lie.
And you, unfortunately, can't have a real marriage if it isn't the #1 priority in your life
So figure out what your other priorities are, and make your decision
#2 – The long haul
For guys, I think one of the toughest parts to being married is that most of us are like builders. We want to make something once, make it work great and then move onto the next thing. But marriages don't work like that. They need maintenance to keep going. And we aren't naturally born with great maintenance skills.
The skill to keep checking in over time. Even though it seems like it's not important to do it today. Or that something else is going on and you don't have time, or you forgot and now it's time to do something else
We need to be reliable. Like a metronome.
#3 – Every single day
A flow on from the last point is to check in every single day.
Because although it sounds strange, when we are married, we are always making a choice to stay married, not the other way around
And you need to actively choose it every day
To make it your number #1 priority every day
Deciding to leave a marriage is a decision you can make and it ends everything
If you decide to make that choice one day then you don't get to choose to fix the marriage the next day. It's over.
#4 – Remember who the enemy is
Your marriage isn't a war. Sometimes we can talk about our relationship and our wife like we are at war with her, and her us.
Like she is an opposing force. But this isn't true.
You are married. And marriage takes teamwork.
The enemy isn't your wife, she's the only other one on your side. The enemy is everything else that is trying to tear you apart.
- Money issues
- Time issues
- Other people
- Health issues
That's the real enemy of your marriage.
#5 – Remember the context of the situation
A lot of the time we talk about marriage as being a ‘WE' instead of two separate people.
But I think sometimes it helps, especially in tough times, if you start thinking a little about how you act in relationships too
I mean, your fighting for your marriage so your obviously not the poster child of a successful husband either
Maybe you're a little obsessive, inconsiderate and/or selfish just to name a few
So start thinking of how you're going in relationships
Because a new partner isn't going to fix the problem.
I think sometimes married people can think that the problem is our wives and other guys with different wives are having a completely different (and better) experience in their marriages.
It VERY rarely is. Your marriage is about you, what you do, and what that makes other people do
Answer this honestly. Are you negative? How does your wife combat your negativeness? Does she get negative too?
Ask yourself, ‘what am I doing that is making my wife act like this.'
You're most likely going around in circles like a broken record doing the same things. Which appears to be a trap that you don't know your way out of.
It's important you find your way out of the traps. For this, I recommend reading more articles on this site like this one about how to win your wife back
Now onto your marriage…
Marriages in trouble can be a very lonely place. You feel like you can't ask or talk to anyone so finding a way out of your situation can be tough
You can't just stand your ground you do need some kind of a plan
If you require some help fighting for your marriage and want to give yourself an injection of motivation an experience then I recommend that you follow a programHow to Win Your Wife Back
It's a list of programs that will help you save your marriage, and get your home life back to the way it once was
Thanks for reading this article on how to fight for your marriage.
Good luck in your marriage, and look to the future with some hope and certainty
*Any reference to statistics and figures in this article was taken from here