Why Do Women Hate Sex?

why do women hate sex - angry and unhappy young couple in bed

Do they really?

Of course, there are a proportion of women who do. Some because of physiological reasons and some for psychological reasons.

Overall, it would be hard to generalize and say that a significant proportion of healthy, mentally stable heterosexual women hate sex.

Some may hate men, but that is another story.

A more reasonable question to explore might be:

Why do women use sex as leverage?

From a male viewpoint, being rejected by a woman sexually can lead to negative assumptions galore about the individual female’s sex drive or lack thereof. However our ‘Creator’ ensured that the male of the species would be driven, almost mindlessly and blindly, to pursue the female of the species sexually. Primarily to continue the species and for the pure pleasure the act brings with it.

The other thing our creator did was to instill the innate instinct in women that they know the power they wield. By giving them the sexual red and green light.

What would you do to win the ‘favors’ of the woman you desire?

As far back as recorded history goes, man has gone to extraordinary lengths to enter the Holy Grail of the woman he is attracted to. And for many fellows, the price has been enormous (and still is).

What about laying siege to a rival’s city for ten years because he stole your wife, the most beautiful and desirable woman in the known world at the time?

That’s what Menelaus, the king of Sparta, did when Paris, the King of Troy, stole the heart of Helen, the aforesaid most beautiful and desirable woman of the time, and sailed her back to his Kingdom.

Menelaus wasn’t too happy, so he and his brother, Agamemnon, put together an army of Greeks to steal Helen back.

For ten years, yep, ten years, the Greeks tried to find ways in, over and around the walls of Troy, but they never got a look in.

Hundreds, thousands of men died for one cause. A woman (and her obvious and irresistible ‘charms’) – and that was until the Greeks built a big wooden horse as an offering to the Trojans. Who gleefully pulled the big horse through the gates only to be set upon by scores of pissed off Greeks who had been hidden away in the horse’s belly.

It was a massacre. Paris was slain, yet Helen escaped to marry Paris’ brother, Deiphobus, only to give him up when they were cornered by Menelaus and his war weary men. She returned to Sparta with Menelaus and lived not so happily ever after.

Helen used her ‘leverage’ to live a life of grandeur, then used it to survive after her sex starved original husband leveled a city to retrieve her after ten years of banging on the front gates.


Are you barking up the wrong tree?

Would you pursue a woman and her affections if you knew she hated sex?

Unless you hated it as well, and were more than happy to live a platonic, sex-free life of witty conversation, stimulating dinner parties and a shared passion for long bush hikes. I can almost guarantee your sexual radar would be on high alert for a mate who was equally physically attracted to you.

But knowing that men will do almost anything to win the affections of their object of desire, and women are cunning creatures who know men WILL pay the price for those affections…

Do you think that some women take advantage of that situation and use sex as means to an end?

Or the promise of it as certain milestones are reached?

The big milestone usually is – Marriage!

And BTW if she says, once you have proposed, slipped on the debt laden ring and set the day, “I just want to be a Princess.” Run like hell, because your life will be a living one once the “I do’s” are exchanged.


S0, what IS the quickest way to stop a woman having sex?

Marry her (Kidding)

Unless you have been promised a life of sexual Nirvana once the vows are exchanged, then you may have a couple of solid years with a willing sexual participant of the opposite sex.

If your betrothed has been ‘leveraging’ her charms and assets in the lead up to your nuptials, basically like the donkey moving forward with the lure of the carrot and the stick

Does this mean that only married women hate having sex?

No. But for you to continue having sex with your wife or partner, you still have to appeal to her feminine desires

Women may not ‘hate’ having sex, but to them it can become a bit meh! – a chore that sits somewhere between dropping the kids off at school and stacking the dishwasher.

She wants to have an amazing sex life, but when there is too much to be done, it can get put on the back burner

This is where you need to step in and start taking some work and responsibility off of her

Give her time to want to be wanted again

As males, we are brilliant at compartmentalizing our lives – work, food, sex, football, sex, mowing the lawn, taking kids to sport, sex… – we are always on the lookout for that opportunity, that glimmer of hope, that we can catch her just at the right time for a re-acquaintance with the Holy Grail.

For the girls, it can feel like once real life kicks in, everything, every event, every responsibility, every problem is in the same box competing for her attention at the same time.

This is where as men we can get frustrated. We feel as though…

  • If Jupiter is in the seventh house with Mars
  • The Grandparents have called and said they’d love the kids to have a sleep over
  • You’ve done all the laundry
  • You’ve vacuumed the entire house You’ve put the rubbish out
  • Placed her favorite bottle of wine in the chiller


  • Prayed to the Gods of menstrual cycles that the first thing she pulls out of the shopping bag upon her return home is not a sanitary product

then for one night, she may not ‘hate’ sex.


How to start having great sex again

Women do love sex, although it can seem like they are using it as leverage or in other cruel ways

But she wants it her way, not necessarily yours

So what can you do to connect with her on this level and give her what she desires?

Learn How Women Want Sex

It's not about working harder, spending more time in the gym or doing the dishes every night for a week. To get results you need to learn what she wants and how she sees sex

Once you know that you can learn how to get her in the mood more often

You'd be surprised how many women read, watch and listen to dramas that are all about sex

The 50 shades of grey phenomena is case and point

It's not about you or any particular man. It's about her, and getting sex the way she wants it

You can learn exactly what that is here…

Learn How Women Want Sex

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