How to Revive Your Relationship & Get Your Intimacy Back
3 Proven Ways to Reignite the Passion and Intimacy in Your Marriage
So you have hit a bit of a flat spot in your relationship…
- Your sex life is *yawn* boring
- You always seem to be working and never enjoy your relationship anymore
- You don't have that passion and energy you once did…
But before I reveal what is actually going to get your marriage back on track, I need to quickly tell you something…
It isn't as bad as it sounds, but married people at some stage take their partner for granted. We just expect the other person is going to be there and take care of the responsibilities that they do.
But we are married for life (at least were trying to be) so it's important every once in a while to do what your doing right now
Seek out some information to make us better husbands/lovers/men
Yes personal development
It is a great idea for your marriage for you to keep up to date with what's going on semi-regularly
So you can keep things fresh.. kind of like your stoking the fire (pun intended)
And one way you can do that is sign up to my mailing list (go to the homepage here and sign up)
Anyhow, after that shameless plug here's the…
How to Revive Your Relationship
– 3 Simple Methods to Reignite the Passion and Intimacy Levels in Your Marriage –
1. Schedule Dates and Sex
Yes you heard correctly. He's the deal, predictability is not sexy, however, for most of us, if we don't schedule it and make time for it, it doesn't get done. And even if it's predictable, it needs to done.
She needs to be taken out and shown your undivided attention for a few hours every week, and you need the sexual release that also comes with a jolt of ‘good job, your needed around here I don't know what I'd do without you' from your wife
Schedule it, make it a routine and see that it in fact does improve your marriage
Here's what the Canadian marriage authority has to say on the subject – Link
2. Time Apart
Now don't ever mention this to your wife but Married couples tend to spend a lot of time together. Unfortunately you telling your wife point blank that you need a few hours to yourself never goes well… So hat do you do?
Rediscover your friends
A lot of men around 30-50 and now even older tend to not see there friends as often as thy once did. Why? The pressure of family and trying to ‘be successful' whatever that means these days. But amongst all that, women married tend to keep their friendship circles going
And even meet more women through mothers clubs and kids at school
So the key to getting time to yourself is your friends. Proactively. Again is so is something you are going to have to schedule, and schedule regularly
Yes seeing your friends more can mean a better marriage for both you and your wife
As the old saying goes ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder'
And generally getting out of each others pockets every so often is an important point in that
3. Hire a Cleaner
(Yes introducing another woman into the marriage can be a good thing :P)
Think of it like this…
Your wife is a horse and she is running around wild, it may look like fun from the outside but she has got plenty to worry about. Predators, not having enough food, her offspring how is she going to keep them safe etc.
So you come along and put this wild mare in paddock and build a fence around it. Now she still has problems, but her problems change. Now instead of wondering about predators, it's wondering about a mate, now instead of wondering if it will find enough food, now it wonders about getting enough exercise. Now instead of wondering about how she will keep her offspring safe she's wondering about something smaller and less life threatening.
It's based around the idea of ‘holding space', which I learnt from the program Revive Her Drive
Your creating a fence like paddock so she doesn't have to worry about the serious stuff, she can focus more on what's good in life
Anyhow a few good ways to do this are…
a. Get a cleaner – frees up her time, and let's her think about better problems
b. Dishwasher, if you haven't already got one
c. Have her work part time instead of full time
You get the drift now, and it's really up to you what is going to be the best fit for your situation – as long as it gives her a break from the ‘front line problems in your relationship'
Maybe what you argue over more is money rather than cleaning – whatever the problem is, find a way to distance her from those issues
And she will thank you for it 🙂
Anyhow time to wrap this up, but if you'd like to find out more about holding space then click here to see the presentation I did, and you can even read my honest, no holes-barred review of revive her drive here
Thanks for reading about how to revive your relationship. Any comments, questions or constructive criticisms please use the contact page