How to Make Your Wife Feel Special in the Bedroom
SEX IS AN ESSENTIAL PART OF MARRIAGE. It is the one thing that takes your relationship to a deeper level. Sex keeps the love alive and the fire burning. It also helps a couple to connect spiritually.
Women and sex
Men and women experience sexual desire differently. While a man will get aroused the moment he sees or thinks about something sexy, women take longer to get aroused.
She typically needs more than simply visual stimulation to be sexually aroused. Although there are a few things on the list, one major one you can control is that the part of her brain that is related to anxiety and stress must be deactivated.
Therefore, the biggest task for any husband who wants his wife to enjoy great sex is to make her feel relaxed and calm. Making your wife feel special in the bedroom is no rocket science. It is the little things that make all the difference.
Why she may not be feeling special at the moment
Before we look at ways of making sex special for your wife, here are some of the key reasons why your wife may not be thrilled about sex, for now.
- She is too tired. Research shows that women do about seven times more childcare and housework than their husbands, even when they both have full time jobs.
- She is angry with you. Research shows that spouses need five positive things for every negative event for them to feel satisfied with the relationship.
Furthermore, experts indicate that women tend to ruminate over negative events more than men do. As such, when something negative happens in the relationship, the wife attaches more meaning to it, and she is more likely to go to bed resenting her husband.
All the proper timing and seduction will not make sex enjoyable for an angry wife.
- You are doing it all wrong: Whenever you are in the mood, you reach out and grab her: her breasts, her butt, her…… this is the worst thing you can do. Neither does groping her in the kitchen when she is unloading the dishwasher send her to an orgasmic swoon.
These kind of moves are more annoying than seductive. There is a massive difference between groping and foreplay.
So, what can you do to relax her and make sex more enjoyable for your wife?
Make her feel secure
Today’s woman is under immense pressure to look perfect: from the picture-perfect images in the magazines to the ads that are not only made up and set in special lighting but also airbrushed to the hilt. This perfection is completely impossible to achieve in real life. Unfortunately, the message is that this is what men want to see in their women. This pressure has left many women feeling insecure about their bodies.
Security leads to sexiness
That is where you come in. Self-esteem and intimacy are closely connected. If you can manage to make your wife feel comfortable with her body, the benefits are indescribable when it comes to bedroom activities. The first priority in your to-do list should be to help your wife embrace her flaws. This will enable her to break free of her sexual inhibitions.
Compliment her away
Even if your wife is overweight, make her feel comfortable. When she is naked, let her know that you think her body is great; you love her curves, her firm thighs, and her soft skin. Let her believe that you think that her body is not only great, but you are very lucky to be seeing it in its entirety.
Men do not need to feel sexy to have sex. Women do need to feel attractive to have sex. Unfortunately, responsibilities at work, home and caring for children leaves women feeling about as sexy as a pair of damp sweatpants.
Be affectionate with your wife outside the bedroom.
It will suprise you to find that the quickest way to get your wife’s feel-good hormones bubbling is by being affectionate with her.
- Hug her like she is leaving you. Studies show that hugging a woman for 30 seconds or more raises oxytocin levels. Oxytocin is the hormone responsible for the formation of trust, connection, and bonding.
- Back rubs, foot rubs, tender message: all these communicate your feelings like no words can.
- When you are in the park, grab her by the waist and hold on to her.
- Kiss her spontaneously when you are in line for movie tickets.
- Hold her hand and caress her cheek when you are at the store.
Your wife will appreciate the extra love and the feeling of being touched without the demand for sex. She will surely reciprocate when the time comes.
Touching is not always about sex. Always bear in mind that women like to be touched in more ways than men like to be touched.
Foreplay. Foreplay. Foreplay.
People have become so busy that it is always easier to skip the buildup and jump right into sex. However, this should not be the only sex you have every time.
Foreplay is essential for a deeper emotional connection with your wife, which will, in turn, turn up the passion, and consequently the orgasm. Your wife wants sex to be, well, sexy.
So caress your wife’s body and let her warm up. Delaying sex increases the pleasure for your wife. Set aside some time for really slow, passionate sex a few times per month.
What your wife wants is for you to build up sexual tension until she is begging you for it and then give her the gratification.
The brain is your wife’s biggest sexual organ. Seduction will achieve what all your sexual moves will not achieve.
Enter her fantasy land
Do you know what your wife likes? Take note whenever she mentions a fantasy that she has. Does she want you to be the handyman who comes to fix her pipes? Does she want you to be the police officer who comes to investigate a noise complaint?
And it does not have to be the fantasy. It is also about what she likes. What are her pleasure zones? Where does and doesn’t she like you to touch her? Be a student of your wife’s needs. Pay attention to how she responds and adjust your approach.
Educate yourself on how to give your wife orgasms.
Many men find it difficult to seek out coaching to become better at sex. This makes no sense. After all, to learn any other less important skill, you would seek out information on how to do it.
Would you expect to be good in martial arts by figuring it out for yourself? Great lovers are made. Not born!
Last longer in bed
You want your wife to really enjoy sex? Take it slow and easy. It has been said that it is ok for a man to last for just a few minutes as long as he is good with his fingers. This could not be further from the truth.
Women hate it when a man finishes too soon because then he leaves her hanging. It is okay to have a quickie once in a while. But most of the time, ensure that your wife is completely satiated, probably with multiple orgasms.
A man is like a gas cooker; turned on with the flick of a switch. A woman is like an electric bulb; she requires much warm-up time.
Pay attention to your wife after sex: Have a post sex gameplan
After sex, your wife is completely open and vulnerable to you. Many guys squander this time by just going to sleep or ignoring the woman. Your wife does not recover from sexual pleasure as fast as you do.
If you want to keep the connection going, hold her and keep her close while she ‘comes down.’ She will want to have much more sex if you spend just a few minutes doing this every time.
Also, after sex is the best time to strengthen your sexual bond, so that your wife will look forward to having sex in the future. Engaging in an activity together after sex makes the sex feel super special: taking a hot shower together, sharing a bowl of ice-cream.
If you handle after the sex properly, you will never have to plead for sex .She will be as eager for sex as you.
Give your wife a break
One thing that wives do not get at home is a break. It is always a long day from when she gets up until she crashes into bed.
If she is a stay at home mum, she is also craving adult human contact. If she is a working mum, on the other hand, she carries with her, her responsibilities as a mother.
Nothing communicates love like giving her a break from the stresses of the day: she will appreciate (more than you will imagine) a hot bath while you help her clean-up.
Was it as good for you, as it was for me?
Little things are big things. Consistently communicate your love and appreciation for your wife using these tips, and you will reap the benefits in the bedroom.
Here is more specific information on sex and intimacy in your marriage.